I was speaking at the dating conference a couple weekends ago and each guru that was speaking had to give a kiss close routine that they use.

I had a fair few guys attending the conference ask me what my ‘best kiss close’ routine was and when was the best time to kiss. I told them all that now I hardly ever use a routine for a kiss close. If it is really on with a girl, then you don’t need a routine, and the idea of needing a routine to get a kiss from the girl doesn’t seem necessary if your game is tight enough. This isn’t saying that routines etc. don’t work because they do, and they work well, but once you’ve seen the best of the best out there, and untold naturals open girls, make out with girls, take girls home without any prepared material whatsoever, it makes a large shift in your head of what you thought was the way to talk to girls.

After learning the process of attracting girls for the past few years I know an endless amount of ‘kiss close routines’ that I have learned from guys. I have used kiss close routines and know a lot of them do work, but after hanging around a group of naturals back home, none of them have ‘kiss close routines’, let alone that, none of them even worry about when to kiss, they just do it.

I’m trying to get my game really on the natural path now, because having routines & material that you practice & learn is great for training wheels if you’re new to this and want to get comfortable speaking to random girls you’ve never met. It’s also good to have as ammo for your arsenal if you’re running out of things to say, but seeing those naturals go out with no canned material, no set thing to say, each set being different, and majority of the time each go home with a girl it was clear to see that so much of getting good at this area of life comes down to your mindsets and what’s going on in your head rather than what’s coming out of your mouth.

This isn’t saying routines and material you’ve prepared doesn’t work because it does, and works well. But what used to make me get caught up in my head more than anything else was reading a million eBooks, watching and listening to everything I could find, and trying to remember all of these different routines and set things to say, having routine stacks prepared, then getting into set and my head would overload with information and forget what I was going to say and would end up fucking up!

Sound familiar?

It’s one of the most common things I hear from guys when they’re starting out, and a lot of the time it’s what’s stopping them from making any real success! It’s good to learn the material that is out there, but going out and stressing yourself over what to say instead of going out and enjoying yourself is a big difference. I definitely wouldn’t enjoy myself when I’d get so caught up in my head with what to say, that I’d end up not saying anything. This was a while back when I was starting out, but is something the majority of guys go through when they’re mastering how to get good with girls.

The best thing you can do, is read/listen to/watch something, but for the time you spend learning it, spend 3 times that going out and practicing it in field. So if you spend an hour reading something, spend 3 hours going out and practicing it. When I got to the point where I felt like I’d come ‘full circle’ you realise that 75% (if not more) is not what you say, but what’s going on elsewhere. E.g. Your sub-communications such as your voice tonality, posture, body language, eye contact, how you carry yourself etc. and the mindset you’re going out with. Of course you can’t be spitting boring ass shit at the girl, but for example, a guy learning this stuff with 50 routines saved on his phone/written on a sheet in his back pocket and trying to remember them all with the mindset of ‘I hope I don’t fuck up’, or a guy that has two or three things he’s learnt that he’s gonna practice, and has the mindset of ‘I’m gonna go have fun with this’. Who’s gonna 1. Learn more from doing it a bit at a time, and 2. Have more fun doing it?

You have to do it one step at a time, like Braddock says – ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time’. In other words, you can’t expect to learn everything there is on this one day, and wake up the next day with girls falling on your dick, it’s a game that you get better at bit by bit. Somedays you get major breakthroughs, somedays you get blown out of every set you open, you’re always learning. Thing is, it’s all good learning from material you can get your hands on, but going out and practicing, you get instant feedback of what works and what doesn’t, and the best learning materials we have are real-world results.

Like I say, after hanging out with naturals and seeing them first hand, as well as getting their perspective on what works and what doesn’t, they just do it and learn from going out and doing it rather than worrying what to say, they go out and find out what works themselves. They don’t treat it like work, they don’t stress about what to say, they go out and have fun.

Point I’m gonna end this on is don’t treat mastering this area of your life as work, treat it as a new game that you look forward to playing. Go out & have fun with it, and instead of trying to get good at opening, teasing, takeaways, disqualifying, transitioning, qualifying, escalating, closing, same night lays etc. all in one night, put the puzzle together one piece at a time. More importantly, don’t put so much emphasis on the result, work on the skillset, not the outcome.

For more info on how to think like an instructor, checkout the Love Systems audio download. The first 10 minutes are free.

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I’ve been around pickup and dating science for longer than just about anybody. I’ve seen trends come and go, from creepy old guys telling you to point at your penis when you talk to hippy shamans guaranteeing that any woman can squirt, not to mention the guy who had legions of online fans based on his “new discoveries” until he was forced to admit that he was, in fact, a virgin. These things remind me of societal trends like 80′s clothes and hair, oxygen water or Dungeons and Dragons 3.0: they are all bad, and they will all ruin your game.

This past weekend, I led a Love Systems bootcamp in Seattle and one student asked me about the latest of these fads, which he called “natural game.” According to this, you don’t need any of the best word-for-word scripts, you don’t need the step-by-step structure from Magic Bullets, you can just go out and be yourself and have fun and women will come to you. I told him that this is what most of us were trying to do before we discovered dating science, that it didn’t work back then, and that it sure as heck won’t help new people get better now.

We teach a step-by-step approach (the innovative Love Systems Triad Model from Magic Bullets). When you have large, complex problems like “see that beautiful woman over there; get her into bed (or make her my girlfriend),” it’s really helpful to break it down into specific tasks that come one after another. First you do X, until Y happens, and then you do Z. There are only 6 steps, and only a few combinations within each, but it has simplified the lives of thousands of men worldwide and it works. And “being yourself” doesn’t help if you draw a mental blank or run out of things to say. Sure it’s easy to tell someone just to make conversation when he runs out of things to say, but when you’re talking to a Playboy Playmate lookalike and her friends are trying to drag her away and she’s looking at you expectantly to see if there’s anything more to you than a well-delivered opening line… you have to have stuff ready to go. And it has to be good.

Click here to check out routines manual 2

In general, any fad that promises an easy path without putting in the work sounds – and is – too good to be true. Does this mean being “natural” is bad or impossible? Of course not. If you see Love Systems bootcamp graduates out socially, they will look very relaxed and natural. But that’s because they’ve done the work to get there.

Let me explain, with reference to an all-American metaphor: baseball.

A professional baseball player can step up to the plate, stare at the pitcher, and then, with perfection and apparent ease, hit the ball perfectly for a homerun. Let’s say you are brand new to the sport of baseball. Perhaps you have never even stepped up to bat before – but you really want to learn and you spend the money and get the opportunity to train with this professional baseball player. The first thing you ask him is “How do I hit a home run?” and he explains that the best way to hit a home run is not to think about it. You need to just feel when the timing is right to hit the ball. Your mind and soul should be on autopilot, you should be one with your true self and then hitting the home run will come naturally to you.

Is he lying to you? No. That is the way he hits a home run every time. But will that advice ever help you to hit a home run? Not one darn bit. What has happened is this professional player has completely forgotten about all the years he has spent playing baseball. He forgot about the thousands of times he has been up to bat before. He forgot entirely about his learning process that has allowed him to become the natural baseball player who can effortlessly hit home runs.

It is no different with meeting and attracting women. If you haven’t had all of the success you want, going out and “being natural” isn’t going to help, no matter how many eBooks you read.

Click here to check out routines manual 2

Natural game is simply how men act when they are ALREADY good with women.

You learn natural game by going out and practicing, as much as possible, for as long as possible. You practice with the best tools available – the structure and formula from Magic Bullets, personal attention on a Love Systems bootcamp, etc. Natural game is learned by doing a thousand approaches and then going out and doing a thousand more. It comes from hard work, a good attitude, patterns of success and a willingness to push through some failure. It comes from making good friends who will push you, attending bootcamps and seminars and then going out and doing all of it all over again. If you do that I guarantee that you will have natural game.

People who all of a sudden “discover” natural game actually reveal more about their own dating science skills and development than they do about how to teach others. All it means is that they have gotten good enough with the basic structure and with routines that they are now able to take the training wheels off. They discover that now that they have internalized the right behaviors and intuitions from having worked with a Magic Bullets-type structure that they don’t need to slavishly follow the model anymore and can improvise.

Click here to check out routines manual 2

Well, of course.

When you see me out with friends like Tenmagnet or The Don or Savoy, we’re improvising, taking advantage of possible shortcuts and so on. That’s because we’re good enough to be able to “feel” the game and be “natural,” like the baseball player in this analogy. But there’s no way that we would have gotten this good if we hadn’t had resources like the type of information that eventually found its way into Magic Bullets and the other Love Systems products. And there’s no way we’d teach without them. And whenever something goes wrong, we go straight back to the basics to troubleshoot.

There is a world of difference between being good with women and being able to teach others how to be good with women. Being able to pick up is necessary to being a good teacher, but it’s not enough. That’s why I’ve always been suspicious of guys who proclaim themselves to be gurus. If they were really gurus who could change other peoples’ lives, there’d be armies of men using their system to great results. Like the two dozen Love Systems instructors around the world, from 5’2 to 6’4, from 110lbs to 250lbs, from Europe to North America to Latin America to Asia to Australia. We all use roughly the same system, because it works.

The best way to learn natural game is to do the work necessary to get there. To make the most progress in the least amount of time, it is best to do the training and the exercises that teach you natural game. Those are following the program: scripted material, canned openers and proven attraction routines. These are time-tested, proven methods that have transformed thousands of Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs), myself included, into real-world pick up artists and the new “naturals.”

Another error in the natural game theory, and it applies equally to our pro baseball player and to our pickup artist, is that natural game only happens when your mind and body are in state. What happens when you are nervous, tired, had a bad day at work, dog died or Marvel kills off Captain America? You aren’t in the mood to be instantly clever and charming right off the top of your head. But you sure as hell can pull out the Love Systems Routines Manual, read a couple of scripts, and then go approach. Every single time.

The few guys I know who are teaching natural game got there only after doing years of field work. Natural game comes from doing the field work. And the best way to learn the field work is to follow the system. Once you have it, natural game is a lot more fun and a lot easier in my opinion; but it is anything but natural.

To find out more about how to use routines to meet women, check out the Love Systems Routines Manual!

Let’s talk about love. One of the most important pieces of literature in the world is a love poem. When Dante Alighieri wrote The Divine Comedy, his intent was to show the journey of a wicked soul transformed by the power of love for a beautiful woman. In Dante’s case, the woman was named Beatrice. He met her once when he was nine years old and again when he was eighteen. From his infatuation came one of the most beautiful poems ever recorded. And he never got the girl.

We’ve all been there, I think, although most of us aren’t compelled to write epic poetry in the wake of a pretty girl’s passing. Too many of us fall sway to the halo effect: she arouses me, and thus can do no wrong! It is a position born from loneliness, from inexperience, from fear.

If you’ve been to The Attraction Forums to get dating advice or taken a Love Systems bootcamp, you know it’s axiomatic to eschew attraction to a single woman. When a student asks me how to get This Specific Girl in a phone consultation, I ask him to prepare a new question. Before you can become attractive to women, there is one thing you must do first: kill Beatrice.

I don’t say this callously. I’m a lover. I enjoy the women I’m with. I genuinely seek to find the best in people, although they often disappoint me, as I’m sure they do you. Nevertheless, I seek the goodness in other people. When I start hitting on a woman, I really do hope she’s not going to be a silly twit whose value doesn’t rise beyond the surface beauty that drew me into conversation with her.

I’m not alone. Whenever we ask students at bootcamps about their plans for the future, most of them say they’d like to find That Special Girl, even if they have to seduce a thousand young ladies to find her.

Pause.

That needs more emphasis. You must– must– become a creature of options. For your own sake. Not to become a poon-hound. Until you attain a meaningful, confident, consistent success with the women you desire, your own limitations will devalue the power of your love and limit your ability not only to acquire but also to keep The One.

Love Systems starts and ends with perceived options. Beautiful women are usually conditioned to be acceptably bitchy because they can get away with it. [Don't complain about this - learn how female psychology works so you can use it to your advantage]. Their options don’t close off when they act poorly, so they continue to do so. Less attractive women usually learn that when they like someone, they need to treat him well. Otherwise their options are drastically limited. Pretty girls are able to set their own standards of behavior, and since the odds are good they weren’t raised well, those standards typically stretch the bounds of good taste. I didn’t make the rules.

Most men act like ugly girls: don’t make waves, don’t risk the loss, and don’t treat her like merely one of your social options. Bad call. The women smell it. They feel it, like loser-water splashed all over them. They smell the underlying vibe of your every movement: I hope I don’t mess this up. This neediness — the perception that you aren’t treating them like they are women, like you are a man — is at the root of so many failed pick-ups. That girl you’re pining for might even like you, in that way…

….Just a little.
Teeny.
Bit.

But in her gut she senses a sharp discord with her own feelings of inadequacy and innate discomfort: this guy likes me too much. Boom. You lost the girl.

And so we come to the so-called seduction community. We are told over and over again how bad “oneitis” is. Message boards teem with the mighty keystrokes of those who are mad-learned on the knowledge. But when you’re in the middle of that emotional maelstrom, it’s hard to hear WHY it’s important to kill those feelings for that special, magical girl, to kill Beatrice.

Why? Because she’s not special, and neither are you.
Listen to the radio. Nearly every song is a testimony to how awesome love is.
And it is.
It’s an overwhelming state that inspires, confounds, and defines. Through its experience, all your other emotional potentials fall into sharp relief.

In fact, in the book Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix distills the experience of love down to three core emotions:
1.) This person is highly unusual and specifically tailored to loving me.
2.) I’ll never feel like this again.
3.) This feeling should last forever.

Biochemically, you are DESIGNED to react to loving emotions exactly how you do. Your emotions are NOT special.
They are, in fact, the textbook definition of common.
Plebeian.
She has loved before.
So have you.
She will again.
So will you.

No, she’s not different. When I hear guys rant about how, “No, she’s different, she’s a sweet girl,” my head starts to spin. Do a search for the triumphs of Love Systems instructors; wherever you stand on the morality if the issue, at some point the testimony of other men’s wives and girlfriends has to amount to something. It’s not good or bad. It just is.

Imagine the most heinous, depraved, “slutty” thing you’ve seen or conceived. Now, know this: you know someone who’s done something like that or worse. Such is the reality of modern reality. Suck it up and deal. After all, you’re probably a normal, decent person, and all that deviance and judgment you just threw out in our imaginary situation there is NOTHING compared to the festival of sin that is your daily, hourly sexual fantasy life. What separates your thoughts from your actions? Sadly, it’s probably an issue of will and game (and for some of you, of course, the law).

No one is actually that special. But everyone is that special. That one girl isn’t worth a damn because everyone has a nugget of gold lodged somewhere in their chest. Everyone has some hidden glory. Sometimes it’s hidden very deeply. But there truly are a vast number of interesting, beautiful women, despite their minority status. In that same regard, no single girl is all you’ve made her up to be. Not one. None. No one. Some of you are reading this and thinking about This One Girl You Know. Seriously, not even her. EVEN IF EVERYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT HER IS TRUE! THERE IS A GIRL WHO IS BETTER-LOOKING, SMARTER, FUNNIER, AND NICER. YOU JUST HAVEN’T MET HER YET. That glorious sun goddess is still just another glorious sun goddess. We live on a planet with 6,200,000,000 human beings. And women are in the majority. Seriously, she’s not that special.

And that’s why you have to kill Beatrice. That muse is only holding you back because what she’s really doing, what she’s really, really accomplishing, is holding you back from being your true, glorious self. Find her seventy thousand superior counterparts. Then return.

With understanding.

Experience and willingness to learn breed perspective. When you don’t accrue a lot of experience with girls, it’s easy to get sidetracked by illusions, to forget how mortal these divine creatures are. Then, you can find a girl you want, a girl you like, a girl you can love. And you will not love her out of habit. You will not love her because she’s just the prettiest girl you’ve ever been with. You will love her because she’s the best girl to receive your love. And that statement means something because you have allowed other, female things to happen to you!

To find out more information on dealing with oneitis, check out this audio download. The first 10 minutes are free.
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