Have you ever gotten so fed up with dating women and dealing with all the crap that you just pull out of the game entirely? You get sick of being blown off all the time, and really sick of never being able to reach them in the first place.

Hey, I’ve been there.

We all reach a point of disgust and anger about all the silly social rules in the dating game and we throw in the towel.

However, this kind of reaction implies a few things. First off, that you’re needing a particular result in order to keep going. Well, that’s perfectly natural. You wouldn’t show up at your job every day if you didn’t get the expected paycheck each week, now would you?

When it comes to dating women and the whole pick-up game, you’ve got to realize that you may have to walk a while in the desert before you find the oasis you’re looking for. Hey, if that’s the worst news someone had given me a while back, I would have said, NO PROBLEM! Bring it on!

Now the good news is that you can shorten the path to your oasis by being smart about how you get women interested in you. So, in keeping with this, I’m going to tell you about three attitudes that draw women to men.

As you read these, I want you to try something for me. No matter how ‘obvious’ what I might say seems, I want you to re-think your beliefs about them, and see if you are still, perhaps, working under the opposite belief in some way.

If that sounds confusing, just wait and we’ll go into it in more detail.

Let’s start with things that women find alluring. These are my top Three Attitudes that will improve you 100+% in the eyes of the women you approach and date if you’ll work on them.

In fact, if you really get what I’m about to tell you, you’re going to have a problem finding time for all the women that will want to get with you.

I’m not hyping it up here, either, dude. I’m serious. With my Alpha hobbies, helping you guys, and the women in my life, I’m starting to forget to pay bills and keep enough water in my dog’s bowl. BAD Carlos, I know.

So here are the Three Success Attitudes:

ATTRACTIVE Attitude #1 – Guys who like themselves

Yes, even though we’re men, we still have PLENTY of things to like about ourselves. Contrary to the popular media that demonizes us, guys are pretty cool. Having a pecker rocks!

I mean, let’s start with the obvious things about guys that are cool: We invented beer and stock car racing. What more do we have to do, after all? Yeah, I’m sure we invented the remote control, and probably the electric guitar, while we’re at it.

We’re GUYS. We make cool stuff.

But that’s not all. You see, women really pick up on guys who LIKE being guys.

And not just guys who like their gender. Women really like guys who like THEMSELVES. It comes across in the way we treat ourselves and the way we treat others. If you like yourself, you probably aren’t a dick.

It’s an easy deduction, because the ironic thing about confidence and self-esteem is that the men you THINK might have it (i.e., Jerks) actually DON’T have it at all. They’re making up for being horribly insecure dweebs. Ya dig?

So the more you communicate a self-liking, the more you’re going to cultivate a more interesting and vibrant personality. And that “vibrant” turns into a “vibe” that you’ll get with a woman when she picks up on it.

Just don’t self-like yourself TOO much there, spanky. Keep the hand lotion out of sight.

ATTRACTIVE Attitude #2 – Guys who are fun to be around.

And when I say fun, man, I mean FUN.

Not that you have to juggle and tell great jokes, but you should definitely have a little personality to show that gets people interested.

The easiest way to cultivate this trait is to open yourself up to being more PLAYFUL.

Being playful means having a slightly childish part of you that you can bring out on occasion to have a little fun with women. Tease them a little. Poke them in the ribs. Tell her she’s got cooties.

Another great way to be fun is to go PLACES that are fun. I like meeting women in interesting spots of San Francisco so we can be interactive. There’s a great place here called the Exploratorium where you get to interact with hundreds of experiments and scientific demonstrations – from magnetism to music to glow-in-the-dark bacteria. It’s a hoot. And there’s a LOT of possibility for physical interaction between you and HER there, too.

Make a list of all the cool places you can go with her. She’ll associate the feelings she experiences WITH YOU. Remember that.

ATTRACTIVE Attitude #3 – Guys who are confident and go after what they want.

This is the one that a lot of guys have a tough time with.

“What is ‘confident’?” they ask.

Confidence is simply your willingness to be who you are with no regrets, guilt, or anxiety. You don’t care what other people think. You’re validated from within.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

This has to be one of the questions I hear most frequently from guys.

Why?

It’s the most intimidating question a guy can ask a woman, and one that I get asked about regularly. It feels like such a risky proposition, putting yourself out there for a woman’s approval (or rejection.)

The answer to the riddle is this: STOP asking women out!

First of all, you’re starting a program in a woman’s head that says: “He’s romantically interested in me. That means dates, and awkward kisses, and possibly sex, and then a breakup like the last one. I better not.”

Second, by asking her out, you make a woman need to figure out if she’s attracted to you the moment you ask the question. She is presented with an opportunity which requires her to figure out her interest level in YOU.

You see, a woman doesn’t want to lead a man on, but she also rarely knows right away if there’s romantic interest. So she’ll say yes just to test you out. It’s like her first drive of a new car. She doesn’t want to be obligated to buy right off the bat. If you push her for an answer right away (which is how asking her out comes across to her) she’ll say No, even if she isn’t sure yet.

Most women are NOT attracted to you immediately unless it’s by your looks alone. If you rely on pure sex appeal to win you the one you want, you’ll be relying on “luck.” There’s a much better way.

Don’t move so fast on her. Be patient. (Oh, and another fringe benefit of not asking a woman out is that you can’t be rejected. Pretty cool, huh?)

Take a moment and think about which of these would be most interesting to a woman:

A) A meal and/or movie date that demonstrates no originality, and implies that she’ll have to be considering you romantically, and that there will be pressure for her to be “on,” and then after it’s all done, she’ll have to deal with your attempt to kiss her. Scary.

B) A chance to go out and have some fun, with no pressure.

Which one sounds better to you?

Now, if you’re still leaning towards Option A, think about which one sounds better to HER?

Does Option B sound better now? You better believe it does.

Now, it may not seem to have your interests in mind right away, but that’s not what winning a girl’s heart is about. It’s about forgetting what YOU want for long enough so that you can give her what SHE wants.

Let’s put it this way – would you invest $10,000 of your hard-earned money in a stock you’d never even heard of before? No way! You’d want to see what the company is about, check out the fundamentals. And THEN you might be willing to invest a few hundred or so.

That’s what it looks like to her – potentially BIG risk, and no guarantee of return.

There’s a saying: “You can have anything you want in this world if you just help enough other people get what they want.”

Also, Option B gives her a little MYSTERY about your intentions and your interest, and that is what a woman wants. Remember: hope + doubt = passion.

So now that you’ve figured out that you need to give her a lower investment option to start out with, how do you do it exactly?

Easy. If you’ve only just met her on the street, you should see if she’s got a minute for coffee or tea at the local coffee shop. Take the opportunity to build a little rapport and show her that you’re FUN. The rest will come later if you can demonstrate a laid-back, fun personality.

If she doesn’t have the time, you then shift into a lower gear and get her phone number and/or email address. After you put such a nice request out there for coffee and she turned you down, she’s more likely to agree to give you her contact information, and in most cases she will write it right down.

If she hesitates, which is very likely because you’re still essentially a stranger, then you need to reassure her by teasing her. That’s right, teasing her.

HER: “Sorry, I don’t give out my number.” YOU: “It’s okay, I’m only going to leave you a hundred messages on your machine. C’mon, write it down.” Make her feel a little silly that she doubts your integrity and character. Teasing makes her forget about her weird trust issues.

Hand her a pen and paper and don’t look her in the eye; just wait. The next person who speaks, loses.

Usually, she’ll write it down. You have to be willing to wait out that long, uncomfortable silence while she figures out if you’re a confident guy or a wimp. If you start talking and trying to reassure her of all the reasons she should feel okay about giving you her information, you’ve already lost.

Just act as if she could do nothing else, and she will do exactly what you want.

Once you have her contact information, you only need to get hold of her and invite her to complete the offer you originally made – tea or coffee at a certain local shop. It’s a low-investment, and it’s not too pushy or overtly “romantic” that she has to worry about where things have to go.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

Before I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.

Well, it’s not a cuss word, but it’s dirty because no one wants to talk about it.

That word is: Prejudice.

What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too.

I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we had no money.

I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po’ little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.

I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a little longer that year.

Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No, that’s no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron’s office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny’s dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.

My heart sank.

Right then, I knew I didn’t get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos was out in the cold.

I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to earn.

And now I wouldn’t get it, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was the good ol’ boy’s club, and I didn’t meet their membership requirements.

Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not being “fair,” and all. It really wasn’t even Vinnie’s fault. He couldn’t know.

But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their lousy job.

Of course, that wasn’t much consolation. Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.

No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back up again.

So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos’ childhood stories… Well, it’s because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn’t have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in another way.

You’re a victim of women’s prejudice, and you might not be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.

Let’s break down the word a bit.

Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.

Get this: It’s been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.

I just finished this great book, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions without us even knowing about it.

In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don’t know we’re seeing, but we’re making judgments about other people based upon them.

Now something I want to add to this is that women are making them about YOU without you knowing about it.

Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You’ll show them because they’re impossible to control entirely.

Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not completely, as I’ll explain.)

I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating the symptoms rather than the disease.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing if you are trying to learn a ton of new “tricks” and seduction/hypnosis tools without training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and “negging” techniques don’t work right if you don’t know how to properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.

Sure, you can “peacock,” but you have to have the right belief system to back it up or you’ll come across as a dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.

There’s some good news here, though. You can learn how to override a woman’s “Blink” response to you by bypassing it entirely.

That’s right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her life.

After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and all that comes with it …

… but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her in the right way.

Just like a rock concert where you can’t get past the big dudes guarding the band from groupies.

All you need is a backstage pass. That backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are -

• Confident
• Secure
• Interesting
• Fun

For a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about “girl power.”

I felt like I had nothing in common with them.

But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good conversation, and they work like a charm on just about everyone you’ll meet. These elements can be learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.

Here’s one of them: Start with a contextual “opener.”

What is a contextual opener? Well, it’s one that obeys the rule of “Where the hell are you?”

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don’t ask her if she saw the fight out front. Don’t tell her you want to read her palm. Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only will it work better, but you’ll be much more believable with the words. It’s a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

“Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I’m planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter.”

There you go.

Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No. But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she’ll be much more likely to respond.

Now, after she responds, chances are that she’ll be a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman’s shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure her and carry the conversation forward.

“Now if I’d known you weren’t an expert on deli meats I would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked friendly.” Shrug and say this with a slight smile. “Are you here doing some shopping after work?”

And just gently carry it forward…

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

Would you ever believe that a stolen car radio could change someone’s life for the better?

I’m about to tell you how this happened.

First, let me ask you a question: Do you like getting things for “f-r-ee”?

I like getting gifts on occasion, that’s for sure, but those are different. They have meaning attached to them because someone gave it from their good will and friendship with me.

What I’m talking about is when you get something for doing nothing at all. It just falls into your lap.

If you’re an honest person, and I know all of you are, you sometimes feel like when you get something for nothing, you DESERVE it. After all, there’s so many times in life that you get ripped off, this feels like the right compensation, doesn’t it?

But do you ever notice than when you get something for fr-e-e, it just doesn’t have that same feeling as something you’ve EARNED?

Let me tell you a really quick story. I call this my “radio moment.”

Back when I was about 22 years old, I remember being in my apartment one night with a stack of stolen car stereos my girlfriend’s brother had just passed along to me. I was trying to choose which one I wanted, trying them all out, seeing which one would work in my car, which had the coolest features, etc.

Basically any one of these that I wanted were mine. For nothing. What a bargain… after all, *I* didn’t steal any of them, right?

And then it hit me, just like the crack of a whip. I realized something then that changed my life forever and put me on a path to prosperity – not just with women but with everything in my life.

My Realization was this: If I keep on this path, I’ll be a loser the rest of my life. Here I am with a stack of stolen goods, and I almost thought it was okay to take one of them.

I’ll be the one that’s trying to get something for nothing, avoiding the cost of life instead of investing MYSELF in it. I was giving up my honor and self-respect to satisfy my own personal greed.

I was crippling my ability to grow as a MAN.

The next day I gave all the radios back and went down to one of those electronics places. I plunked down $300 for a nice Alpine deck. I’ve never looked back since that day. Sure it hurt my bank account a bit, but I felt a pride of ownership in that stereo that I could not have had if I didn’t pay for it myself, from my own hard-earned money.

This is what those people who try to get things for f-r-ee, and the people that never invest themselves in their goals never get to understand. (Of course it’s fine to accept an occasional gift or win something, but don’t DEPEND on getting things for nothing.)

It takes EFFORT to achieve anything of worth in life. Just like the teenager that’s given a car for his birthday and trashes it in a month, you can never appreciate what you have enough to actually USE it the right way.

There is an unbeatable Law of the Universe. I didn’t write it, but it’s the most immutable law of all: You cannot appreciate or truly benefit from something that you haven’t paid for in some way.

Whether that’s monetarily or with EFFORT. The information I give in my work was created to benefit only those willing to put in genuine energy and a little bit of time.

Think about everything in life that you ever got for nothing and what happened to it in the end. Contrast that with anything that you paid for with your blood, sweat, or tears.

That’s what gives life MEANING.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and blow smoke up your a$$ and tell you things you’d LIKE to believe are true if they’re not true.

I’m not going to tell you that going in with your heart wide open instead of your head on straight is really going to get you more women in your life.

As you’ve heard me say a thousand times before… it doesn’t work that way! Most guys get hurt by this because they don’t understand how we have to interact with women to enjoy a healthy relationship.

I wish we did live in a world where you could just walk up to a beautiful woman, tell her you find her attractive, and she’d smile and appreciate it.

Some will, but a lot won’t. Most will dismiss you (subconsciously) as a guy who’s trying to con her in some way so you can get in bed with her. She can’t help it.

Now, the sad fact is that there are a LOT of QUALITY women that respond with shields like this to keep away the dweebs of the world.

I call this Unintentional Blocking. (If there was a sign for this in the NFL, it would be one middle finger jammed into the palm of the other hand.)

And the fact is that you don’t want to miss out on the potential company of these women by dismissing them right away as bitches. It’s worth your while to persist beyond the first few token obstacles she throws your way.

But do you know HOW to get past them?
Do you know WHAT to say to overcome them?
Do you know where those words need to come from to be convincing and congruent?

I’m going to tell you something that should shed some light on this.

First of all, recognize this: Games are NECESSARY.

Human beings are incapable of interacting on a level of pure “truth and honesty” as some people would have you believe.

I’m actually not being cynical or negative here. I think it’s pretty cool that we get to have the fun of interacting with something other than surface meanings, because it gives our personalities more shades than just “black & white.”

People are shades of gray. They won’t just tell you the truth, and you WON’T be rewarded by being all up-front and “straightforward” with people.

ESPECIALLY WOMEN!

They deal purely in the realm of “shades of gray” and unless you know how to function here, you’ll be eaten for lunch and spit right back out.

The most important thing you can do with women when you interact with them is to present yourself with the highest possible social value. Be straighforward when presenting yourself as a confident and assertive MAN. Be honest with your heart, but don’t turn vulnerability into a liability.

THAT is how you impress a woman. Not by trying to flatter her into going on a date with you, or otherwise buying her affections.

Your presentation of yourself is the ONLY thing you can control. Yourself.

That’s the only constant in the universe, and it’s up to you to start here. Because ultimately that’s going to be the one thing in common no matter who you meet or what you say. Like the saying goes, “No matter where you go, there you are!”

You see, all this talk about what’s important with a woman (i.e., wealth, fame, power, etc.) is all made obsolete when a man can present himself with the power and authority of his own high self-confidence. That’s IT!

None of this looking into the “third eye” stuff, or mystic formulas.

You need to know the CONCRETE and SPECIFIC areas to improve and complete your own inner game before you go into the whole spiritual track with a woman.

And it’s been my experience that when men try and get too metaphysical, they start losing their masculinity in the process. They begin to second-guess mother nature and the built-in programming a woman has in her head for what attracts her.

In simpler terms, you need a strong foundation for your house if you want it to withstand the quakes of a woman’s tests. And she’ll test you because a part of her needs to know if you’re “for real” or not. Or maybe just some guy who studied a lame book on how to get l@id.

If you’ve ever tried any kind of hokey hypnotic crap or “patterns,” or “trance words,” and she’s seen right through you, you understand deep inside that there’s really something else that’s missing, and this is why those dumb shortcuts never work.

And the only way to develop this foundation is by investing your energy into YOURSELF.

I think you probably already suspected this was how it worked, didn’t you?

Now I want to give you your own “radio moment.”

This is YOUR chance to make a decision to step off the endless treadmill of seeking the quick “f-r-e-e” formula to get you what you want in your love life.

You can make a decision right now to DO something to get where you want to go in life. (And it’s not just about women, because when you get the rest of your life straight, they’ll be in line for you, too.)

I created a home study course that every guy out there can use to get MASSIVE change in his inner game and self-confidence with women. It starts from the INSIDE out.

This could be the single most important offer you see this year, so I wanted to let you know about it right away.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

Now, I’m going to reveal the single most powerful thing you can demonstrate with your personality to get any woman interested in you. It’s so important that I put aside what I was working on today to get this out to you.

Have you ever noticed how we love to rate things?

We just love to give something a grade or a rating.

• “She’s a 10!“
• “Two thumbs up!“
• “I gave her an ‘A’ for effort…“
• “He’ll never make it to first base…“

Have you ever been to the web site where you get to rate people? They flash you a picture of either women or men, and you get to click what you think they are on a scale from 1 to 10. It’s actually addicting when you sit there for a while, because you start to get invested in the process of grading people based on their looks.

The shame of it is that there’s one important thing that’s left completely out of this process.

There’s nothing to indicate if this person is even likable or not. What if she’s a bitch? What if she’s a selfish little me-monkey?

You can’t tell from the picture. (Well, most of the time.)

As a result, I won’t ever rate a woman as a “10.”

You can’t make that high a grade with me without having a good personality and character. Nobody gets a rating higher than 9 without having the complete package.

Now, I realize that I’m a little different. Most guys will easily give up the highest rating for a woman based on looks alone. In fact, they’ll even fall in lust over a woman and start selling their blood plasma based on her appearance.

In my book, that’s the worst kind of mistake to make.

Why? Because there’s no QUALIFICATION going on.

Remember that, because we’re going to come back to it again.

Back to the whole “rating people” thing.

They’ve done studies where they compared the features of men and women, and had people judge whether they were attractive or not, just like on that web site I was talking about. When men graded the women, they found a standard of what was considered “attractive.” They could even pinpoint it to a ratio of proportions on a woman’s face.

Distances were standard between the eyes, from the eyes to the mouth, from the eyes to the nose, etc.

What they found was that what guys found “hot” was actually pretty predictable.

When the women rated the men on their appearance, they found that they were more scattered. Women had different criteria. Some things were standard, sure. A strong jaw-line was important – for most. But really there wasn’t a lot that they agreed on. Tastes were all over the map. Some liked big noses, some liked small ears, some liked facial hair, some didn’t.

If you’ve ever been around women rating guys, they are just like this. Very few will agree on what they find “attractive.”

Why is this?

It’s because women know they need to know the guy before they can make that call. Women take time to decide whether or not they’re attracted to you because they know that your CONFIDENCE and ATTITUDE really stack the deck.

Now back to qualification…

You may have even heard of this term before.

What does it mean?

I came up with a simple definition that works: Qualification is when you decide to be CHOOSY.

Really that’s all there is to it.

It’s the attitude that says:

• You’re not going to settle for just anyone
• You’re not desperate
• You’re not “sold” on her yet
• You’re might even be a little suspicious

When you make a snap decision that a woman is worth chasing and pursuing without any kind of qualification, you immediately become less attractive in her eyes. Your attitude changes in a hundred different ways that you don’t notice. You do “little things” that clue her in to the fact that you’re NOT very choosy.

And most guys don’t even realize they’re doing this.

After a few hours in front of a computer screen rating women, you start to forget that they are not just pretty faces, but they have personalities.

And a lot of them have personalities that could make you potentially VERY miserable.

You’ve got to TALK to these women.

You’ve got to tolerate being around them for longer than a few hours at a time.

I once dated this Russian girl that was unbelievably hot. I’m talking 9+ on most guy’s scales. She was FINE.

I actually met her when I interviewed her for a position at an Investment Bank where I was working at the time.

She was also really cocky and sure of herself, and her attitude just rolled me over.

I couldn’t hire her for the job, but I called her and asked her out. We had a decent first date, with a little face-sucking at the Palace of Fine Arts here in San Francisco. (For those of you who have seen the movie “The Rock,” it’s the place where Sean Connery meets his daughter to talk to her.) Nice. Romantic.

The next time we went out, I had my goal in mind. But what I was beginning to realize was that I was dreading being around her.

She was constantly talking. Yap yap yap. ME this, and ME that.

“Look what I’ve done. I’m so proud of myself…”

It was starting to get sickening. But she was so HOT! AND so damn annoying…

I distinctly remember going back to her place on the third date and hanging out there while she read me a truckload of her bad poetry. I was all “That’s great!” and “How beautiful!”

What I forgot was that I should have had standards. I didn’t QUALIFY her.

And in the end, she ended up pushing me out the door and telling me that she wasn’t going to sleep with me, after making me tell her how much I thought of her and how great an a$$ she had. Talk about humiliating.

Ever since that experience, I remembered my lesson, and I kept it on the front of my mind so that I learned from it. (You might notice that I have no problem telling you about my mistakes because I want you to realize that I’ve made a lot of the same ones you have.)

The “Big Lesson” was this: I got her interested in me and demonstrated my Alpha Power when I had first INTERVIEWED her.

THAT was what got her interest spiked! I was Qualifying her that whole time, demanding that she tell ME why I should be interested in her.

If I’d just kept qualifying her a little more, called her on her self-centered behavior, told her that her poetry needed a few less five-syllable words … and basically kept qualifying her the way I had been from when I was interviewing her, I would have been able to either satisfy my “carnal curiosity” … or dumped HER instead before she drove me nuts.

And since my “Big Lesson”, I’ve done just that. I reject women all the time when I sense that they’re going to be pills to deal with.

Let me tell you, it feels GREAT! And my posture of qualification drives them crazy with desire.

Now YOU need to be the one to decide whether a woman is worth your time and energy.

Don’t give up the reigns of control so quickly just because she’s got a pretty face.

Or pretty anything else…

Repeat after me: “Beauty isn’t enough!”

Until you have a chance to learn more about her, you can only say TSTR! “TOO SOON TO RATE!”

I don’t give up a 10 for ANY woman until I’ve gotten to know her, and find out if she’s a QUALITY woman.

Now, for you to get to the point where you feel you can turn down women takes a little work. I think I have something that will make it much easier for you to build this Alpha Attitude.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

There are a lot of guys out there sending conflicting information regarding what it is and isn’t to be “Alpha.” As in “Alpha Man” or “Alpha Male.”

Let’s start right off by saying that “Alpha” behavior is NOT bad.

It is NOT what you see animals doing in their nasty time in the zoo. It’s NOT attacking a tribe and killing all the young, or any weird stuff like that.

Look, “Alpha” just means the dominant male (and sometimes the female) in a group.

It’s the one that is most likely to procreate and get its genes into the next round of the “Keep the species alive” game.

So it really does make sense to get successful with women if you think about it like this. If you don’t find a woman to mate with and create little teeny versions of you, then it all ends with you.

Do you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so.

So don’t listen to a lot of this garbage and double speak out there regarding “Alpha Men” and what they should or should not be.

Here are a few things an Alpha IS:

• Clever/smart/cunning
• Ambitious
• Excited
• Honorable
• Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
• Stable
• Fit (healthy lifestyle)
• Curious
• Balanced
• Natural

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

• Aggressive
• Angry at women
• Verbally abusive
• Arrogant
• Obnoxious

There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a STRONG and persuasive man in today’s society.

I’m not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn’t matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It’s because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an “Alpha” doesn’t mean you’re dragging women back to a cave. Or that you’re being an aggressive, pushy jerk. Or that you’re being forceful and mean. Or that you’re inconsiderate. Or that you’re acting like a brutish animal.

It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is attracted to a man, and you’re not afraid to BE a man. Not a cardboard, one-dimensional wimp that’s afraid to let women know he desires them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life: Desire and Fear.

That’s it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.

Fear is a stronger motivator for humans because it helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations. You’re smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can’t afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn’t much you need to fear. In fact, we fear too much already.

And the fear that is most crippling is the fear of LOSS.

Everyone’s favorite short green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick… “Fear of loss leads to the dark side.”

And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you’re too afraid of losing what you have.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each day and understand that everything you have was just given back to you today. And when he goes to sleep at night, he gives it all back.

Lose this attraction to your possessions before they possess you…

Whoah, I’m getting very philosophical here.

What I’m trying to get across to you here is that you should avoid becoming attached, even to TERMINOLOGY.

When someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it’s this and that, remember that they’re trying to color your perception. They’re trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.

Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

He’s already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven’t been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind “Politically Correct” BS about not hurting other people’s feelings, or being sensitive.

It’s really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to achieve. The man that wants women in his life. The man that wants monetary success. The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this “Alpha” talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn’t held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could – and will – change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He’s a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change.

On the other hand we have the Alpha, the confident and assertive man with healthy communication and self-esteem.

There is only one direction of growth here, and it’s from the AFC to the Alpha. And what is the Alpha? He’s a MODEL.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

I was thinking the other day about men’s perceptions about women, and how we “figured out” what it is they’re looking for. I wondered how men could have been so misled regarding this subject, and just where did it come from?

Well, think about it. There are only a few places you could have gotten this information:

LISTENING TO GUYS

Well, as guys, we like advice. We LOVE to give it, even when we don’t know what the HELL we’re talking about. Really.

I remember being a kid and trying to shoot the crap with my friends about women. All guys have an inherent need to be a know-it-all, and that gets in our way of actually learning. Every guy has a story and seems to “know it” when it comes to women, don’t they?

I was in a car with a friend at Lake Tahoe a couple weeks back, and when he found out what I do for men with the ebooks and audio information he was fascinated. It wasn’t as if he was jumping up and down (guys don’t react that way – we’re very coy about letting another guy know we’re excited about something.) But he was interested, because he brought the topic up several times over the next several days.

What made him different was that he asked questions and listened to my advice. He’s probably going to go on to ROCK a lot of women’s little worlds.

Guys and gals are FASCINATED by knowledge of the $e*xual game. It’s treated as if it is some kind of magic by those who understand it.

I have noticed that guys will tend to look to other guys for advice, or listen in on other conversations, and then use that information to shore up our own understanding. We assume that all the other guys were born with this knowledge.

But the truth is that most guys’ knowledge of women is very faulty, because it’s not based on reality. It’s based on hit-or-miss hand-me-down wisdom that is not usually very reliable.

ONLY listen to people who are DOING what you want to do.

LISTENING TO WOMEN

I think I’ve coached you guys enough on this one, but it’s probably one of the tops in terms of where guys go after listening to other guys for their information. While you can get some good information on the basics from women (what clothes they like, etc.), for the most part, they DON’T know what REALLY moves them. (Or won’t admit it.)

Listen to what a woman says, but train your ear to pick out the BS when you hear it. Because she’s most likely only going to give you her “Cinderella” answer. (Prince Charming illusion.)

WATCHING OTHER GUYS

One of the two best ways you can learn, but only if you watch guys who are SUCCESSFUL with women. Most guys watch other turkeys just so they can feel better about not being as bad as they are.

A good friend once said, “If you want to learn something, go to the guy DOING it for lessons. If you want to get rich, go find a guy with a big pile of money. Not the broke stockbroker showing you his ‘hot picks.’”

Absolutely, brother. Right on.

Go get yourself a TOP-NOTCH wingman that’s good at this stuff, get him to show you what he does, and watch your ability quadruple in just a few nights. (I mean it.)

That is, if you can put aside your ego and apprentice yourself.

WATCHING WOMEN

The best way you can possibly learn is to WATCH WOMEN when they’re being brought around to attraction for a man. You’ll know it when you see them reacting positively to what a guy does to them.

RESULTS speak here. If you watch a woman and she is NOT moved to interest for a guy, DON’T do what he did. (Or learn how to do it the CORRECT way.)

If you see a guy give flowers and buy dinner for a woman and not get SQUAT for his trouble, then you might want to reconsider your strategy. I did.

If you really watch women and REALLY watch their reactions, and learn how to interpret what’s going on in her head, too, you’ll begin to understand the REAL deal when it comes to women, seduction, and dating.

Remember this: The only woman that will stay with you over the long run is one that CANNOT stand the thought of being without you just enough to stick around. OR … she just doesn’t have any better choices. She has to want you more than she wants to be on the market again.

Learn how to observe and PAY ATTENTION. Develop your fine sense of interpretation, and learn to watch for the right signals.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

We’ve all heard about being “cocky and funny,” or “confident and funny,” or variations thereof. This article is going to start you on a path to meeting more women, the beginning to all your action. It’s called Tease to Please.

If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace.

We’re going to start you on a program of understanding how to meet women at any time and any place. All you need to do is open your eyes and set aside about 4 minutes (or less) to talk to her, if that. This approach will work ANYWHERE you see a woman, and it doesn’t require you to memorize a bunch of secret handshakes or hypnotic trance words.

Ready?

Tease to Please works because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting ‘strange’ men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.

You have 3 seconds from spotting a woman to when you approach her and say something to engage her interest. If you wait longer, your opportunity window closes faster than Ticketmaster can sell out Britney Spears tickets.

In that 3 seconds, you do this:

Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, giant breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness.

You find ONE thing that you can key off of and say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your ANCHOR. Once you’ve found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact.

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on. “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”

Example: She’s got a black denim dress on. “My sister likes dresses like that. Where’d you get it…?”

(If you don’t have a sister, use ‘Aunt’ or ‘Cousin.’ You shouldn’t have to lie.)

She’ll say something like, “Oh, I got it at Macy’s” or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can’t make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like “Oh, that dress goes so PERFECTLY with your cheekbones.” (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it’s NOT in an improvised meeting like this.)

Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. It’s like cotton candy – sweet for a split second, but disappears almost immediately. You want to dangle the PROMISE in front of her first.

You *almost* convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is.

Don’t be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous.

(Her next mental question is: “Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn’t say.” )

From here, you will bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we’ll cover that in the next installment. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation for just a minute or two, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number.

Now, the typical question I get is “What if there’s nothing out of the ordinary about her?”

Simple: You make something up. There is ALWAYS something you can find when you look, and if it’s not readily apparent, you make it up. If she’s got clothes on (and even here in San Francisco, they still wear clothes) you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry.

For especially attractive women, you need to come on a bit differently, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively on the hotties. When you’re comfortable with it, it makes more impact.

You say just one thing, and it’s so easy you’ll have a tough time forgetting it:

“Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I like the style, but I think you should try it in black, instead. You’d look better with it in black instead of gray.” (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on.

Her head will suddenly spin … “But… but… all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on… What do you mean?”

By using these approaches, you’ve just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust YOU – or she quickly categorizes you as a friend (FRIEND = non-lover, a woman you won’t be able to sleep with). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she’s wondering, “Is he safe?” For all she knows, you’re a nut-case looking to pull her into a multi-level marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You’re different – i.e., INTERESTING to her.

For the first week or so, if you’re feeling a bit nervous about approaching women, work your way into this slowly. Just use the intro line I gave you, and take it wherever you need. Hell, I’d even recommend you ONLY ask her the first part (“Where’d you get xxxx, my sister might like that …”), then say “thanks” and walk away. Get used to just chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. Take the pressure off for the first week or two, until you get used to the fact that WOMEN AREN’T GOING TO REJECT YOU LIKE YOU THINK THEY WILL.

You don’t need anything fancy or clever. You don’t need anything special to comment on. You just take WHATEVER she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole “TEASE TO PLEASE” method. And I just gave it to you in a simple, workable format.

What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.)

Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what’s WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won’t before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I’ll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, because they’re ‘different’ somehow, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective.

Just remember to keep things light and humorous, and never to insult.

ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. On ANY woman. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease … (but only to please…)

In the next e-zine, I will cover many other focused approaches that you can use as well, from meeting her online, or at a dance class, or at a bookstore, or even Wal-Mart. You’ll also get the complete breakdown of the psychology to the close for the phone number. I’ll tell you where and when to use flattery, and how to mine the rich ore of women you see every day. There’s nothing you won’t know about meeting ANY woman ANYtime, ANYwhere. (I’ll even tell you what the single underlying reason is for a woman’s defense for all men that approach her, and how to bypass it.)

Now, get out there and start getting in the game. You don’t play it from the comfort of the stands.

Stay tuned! It’s going to get good…
I’ll have the last half of this method to you soon.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

Remember, Tease to Please works because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting ‘strange’ men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.

Let’s continue:

Remember when you were just an eight-year-old kid on the playground? There were all these ‘strange’ creatures playing around the sandbox. They were called girls, and they seemed so bizarre and foreign to you. They were delicate and interesting in a way that you couldn’t quite explain, but you knew that they were different.

How do kids treat those that are different? They tease them.

“Mary, Mary, she’s so hairy!”
“Where’d you get that backpack? Looks like a hunchback!”
“Jenny’s got a CARROT top!”

Boys teased girls. Girls teased boys. Everyone made fun of everyone else. It was sandlot politics at its best, and you learned very quickly that you had to develop a callus to the teasing, or you’d get bruised pretty badly. (Some kids never adjusted, and grew up with their own sandbox issues.)

Ah, what fun those days were.
Well, sort of.

We learned some very primitive social interactions there, but the principles still held for many of us. (Hey, whether or not you like it, we’re a lot closer to those kids in the playground than the adults you think we are. Everyone is still a little kid inside.)

I’ll be willing to bet you that you teased more girls because you liked them than you did because of any genuine weirdness. Sure, there’s some cruelty, but the first social interaction most boys have with girls is when they teased them mercilessly. And what happened? The girls stuck up for themselves. They teased back. And they didn’t realize it at the time, but this set in motion a whole pattern of behavior that led to them being very interested and attracted when they are CHALLENGED.

That’s right, boys. Teasing is all about raising the stakes of challenge to her, and letting her know that you don’t get all mushy inside when you get near a girl. No confidence = no attraction from her.

Tease to Please is a simple strategy. By teasing, you emulate a lot of the self-confidence you need to demonstrate with a woman. That’s really the secret in a nutshell. Call it what you want, Cocky and funny, confident and humorous, Tease to Please. You are showing her you have the balls to not roll over and pant like a whipped dog every time a woman comes near you.

Here’s how you do it:
When we left off, you’d just delivered your introduction. Now you are in a position to continue the conversation as you see fit. You’ve disarmed her natural defenses and opened up your opportunity to engage her attraction mechanism. You do this through Teasing.

Here’s one of the examples we used last time:

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on.

YOU: “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”
HER: “Oh, these? Uhm, I got them at Macy’s. They’re really old. I was looking to get a new pair.”
YOU: “Well, my sister is pretty young, but she’d like that style. For an OLD lady … (PAUSE) … you’re a pretty sharp dresser.” You give her a SLIGHT smile that says “That was a joke.”

Remember, “sister” can be changed to aunt, or cousin, or whatever. You can use my standard response I gave you for now, but you’ll do better if you learn how to think on your feet and come up with more personal and customized versions. There are a whole host of teasing responses. Here are some others (delivered with that sly smile):

“Well, with heels that high, you better watch out for awnings. And low-flying planes.”
“How many feet have you crushed with those things? I’m wearing steel-toes, so don’t try it on me.”

Let’s say it’s about a ring she’s wearing:
“Well, my sister likes those ‘groovy’ rings, too. Do you have a mood ring? I bet you were the kind of girl to wear one of those. Was it blue all the time? You look like you have cold hands.”
“My sister likes toe rings like that. Do you wear them on your toes, too? Just don’t tell me you have a weird piercing, like your butt-cheek. That would just be TOO freaky.”
“Wow, that thing is HUGE. I bet you have to leave it off when you go swimming, huh? Or else you’d sink right to the bottom.”

It goes on and on. In fact, you could sit down and just think up a handful of these for a few different items of clothing (shoes, purse, jacket) and/or jewelry and be set for almost ANY encounter.

Doesn’t it feel great to know that you can now control your meetings and increase your ratios?
No, no, please, hold your applause…

Remember: Don’t be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you’re out. If you don’t let her know you’re kidding, you’re out.

The point of all this is to:
A) Get her laughing
B) Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you’re DIFFERENT.)

After you joke with her a little, make a decision if this is a woman you might be interested in. If so, you smile and start to walk away. Then, turn right back and TELL her (don’t ask):

“Hey, you know, we might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your number for me.” (Memorize this phrasing to use.)

An alternate approach: “Hey, you know, I might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your email address for me.”

If she says she doesn’t have a pen, you DO, and hand it to her. If she says she doesn’t have email, tease her some more: “No email? You didn’t just get off a desert island did you?” Smile. “Here, just give me your home phone.” (As she starts writing): “Uhm, your REAL number. I’m just going to call you as soon as I get home and leave a dozen annoying messages on your answering machine.” Smile. Take her number and leave. Don’t tell her you’ll call. Leave her wondering.

That’s it. You disarm her defenses by keeping a sense of humor. You show self confidence and challenge her by teasing a little. Then you ask for what you want, and then you leave. You’re a busy guy, with a busy schedule of too many women to meet.

This completes your education on the Tease to Please approach. Now, as I said before, for such an invaluable and easy to use technique (given to you FREE, I’ll add) the least you can do is to start putting it to use. I want to hear from guys who go out and start getting some action from the use of this.

‘Cause I’ll guarantee you one thing: You will get more responsiveness from women with this simple approach than ANY other tactic. More response = more practice. More practice = more dates. More dates = more sex. Or more relationships, or whatever it is you want. It all starts here.

Get more women in your life. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.

Let’s hear from those out there who are ready to stop doing what doesn’t work and start learning to improve their odds. Write to me. Tell me what you did and how it worked. (But remember, if all you’re going to do is try to shoot holes at it without having tried, I’m going to cut you to shreds… This stuff WORKS. Give me your best shot.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma

One area that guys don’t take advantage of enough is the power of smell with a woman. Scents and smells are very important to them, and it’s been scientifically proven that women are much more sensitive than men to odors.

One of the most important reasons scents are good for engaging a woman’s attraction for you is that your sense of smell is connected to the most basic part of your brain, the part that was formed long before your ability to reason and think. This was because our early ancestors had to be able to react quickly to scents on the wind that could indicate a threat, such as a predator.

Smells have a way of bringing back memories. Have you ever had the experience of smelling something and having a complete flashback to something you remember from your childhood? It happens all the time, and it’s even more potent when you’ve associated a smell with something, like the smell of burning leaves in autumn, or the smell of homemade pizza. These smells evoke a state in us that pulls us back to the experiences we had with that smell.

I’ve walked into old houses before, ones that were humid and smelled of old bread and tea, and I had these flashes of walking into my grandmother’s house and the same odors there. It’s a little freaky how real it feels at times.

The way you use this with a woman is to find out what scents she indulges in when she wants to relax, or get passionate. I find that getting her into a candle store, or a bath-and-bodyworks type store is the best way. You get her to smell different things, and notice what she prefers. Vanilla is usually a good scent that you can almost bet she’ll like. Find out what she likes to take a bath with.

Scents for women can usually be broken up into two categories: musks and floral. Musky scents are like heavy perfumes, like Obsession. Floral scents are the ones that are, obviously, more like flowers. If she wears any kind of perfume, you can tell which she prefers by smelling what she’s wearing.

Take care with your choice of cologne. One tactic is to find out what cologne her dad used to wear and use that, but I find this strategy highly variable in terms of the response you’ll get. Better to choose the cologne that she remarks on and likes. Make it a point to put on too little rather than too much. You want her trying to get closer to you, not running and gagging from the smell. Have her give you a critique. “Hey, I just got this new cologne, but I’m not sure if I like it. Tell me what you think.” And she’ll have to lean in close to you to get a whiff. If she likes it, she’ll be back for more.
(And don’t go cheap on your cologne. It’s worth it.)

When you can get her sense of smell engaged, you are taking a shortcut to a part of her mind that responds in an almost primal way. She can’t reason or rationalize with it. You can get her in a state of your own choosing by choosing the right scent.

Click Here To Learn More About Carlos Xuma